Babs’ Quote of the Day – 2010.2.15

I recently spent time at Choir Practice with my good friend, Yukon, and four of my father’s, the Admiral, old fishing buddies. As we sat watching the CEO and President of Toyota on FOX News (grab a pillow and smother me), I smelled an opportunity. Not looking to rush into anything, for four years I [...]

Babs’ Quote of the Day – 2010.2.13

I endured a birthday recently. As if I wasn’t already in the throes of an identity crisis while struggling to come to terms with my gross inadequacies, my “other” brother-in-law, Mikey, called to give me his best wishes on this, my date of birth. He then reminded me that he was still younger than I. [...]

The Creation Museum – Disneyland Revisited

I unapologetically acknowledge that I am trained as a scientist. My father was an engineer. My grandfather was an engineer. Logic was revered on the alter in the home of my youth. It has long intrigued me that a substantial percentage of Americans reject the concept of Darwinian evolution. At the risk of offending those who [...]

Babs’ Quote of the Day – 2010.1.26

My father, the Admiral, once told me, “Any idiot with five bucks and a typewriter can sue.” It may cost a bit more than five bucks now but it’s still true. And in my experience, any insurance company can make it profitable to do so.
It’s also true that any idiot with access to a computer [...]

Babs’ Quote of the Day – 2010.1.23

When hit by a major snow storm, I can count on losing power at my house anywhere from 2 minutes to 2 days. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be a major snow storm. It can be a baby snow storm, a summer rain, or Mother Nature blowing her nose. It’s not a matter of if [...]

Babs’ Quote of the Day – 2010.1.21

Am I the only one who feels that inscribing coded Bible verse references from the Book of Revelations and the Gospels of Mathew and John in military high-tech gun sights is an oxymoron? If the equipment wasn’t headed to the Middle East the military wouldn’t find it objectionable. The inscriptions have apparently been on the [...]

Babs’ Quote of the Day – 2010.1.20

It brought a tear to my eye when I realized how dedicated our government is to the safety and wellbeing of its citizens. Thank the gods our prudent statespeople saw fit to ban Canadian pharmaceuticals. While our neighbors to the north drop like flies from ingesting comparable but much cheaper drugs, I am secure in [...]

From the Bowels of the Mountain

Some of you have asked, “What has happened to Babs Ferguson?” My pugnacious, contrarian sister-in-law has been strangely absent from the column in recent weeks. My instinctive response is along the lines of what we used to say when I was playing baseball, “Never talk about a no-hitter while you’re pitching one. It’s bad luck.” [...]

Babs’ Quote of the Day – 2010.1.19

Imagine having multiple cosmetic procedures at 23-years-old; ten in a single day, to be precise. Who is Heidi Montage anyway? Maybe she needs a lipolobotomy. Botox, fat injections, nose jobs, boob jobs – hold the phone! I have thin lips and will confess that I secretly pine for a pair of Angelina Jolie Pillow Lips [...]

Pat Robertson – One Sick S.O.B.

I’ve been a little neglectful of this column recently. Most of my efforts have been going into writing a book about a homeless, mentally ill man who served as a unifying force in a community in California. The book is nearing completion and will hopefully shed light on the plight of the mentally ill in [...]