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Lon Cheney and Jon Kyle’s Brain

I grew up in that time period when television was still a luxury. I still remember the small, black and white sets where the “vertical hold” was a critical adjustment. A slight deviation on the setting and the picture would roll up or down and drive my father whacky as he’d scramble to adjust it as he missed Bobby Lane’s long pass to Jim Doran as his Lions beat the Cleveland Browns on the way to the NFL championship in 57. My dad used to tune the TV with his right hand; he’d slap the side of the box until the screen finally held still for another minute or two.

It was a magic period in the land of television as the studios experimented with equipment, techniques, scripts and even shows broadcast in color.  Not many people could afford the color sets, but the color wasn’t too hot anyway so it was no big deal. It was a time when many of the shows were broadcast live.

Television was the equivalent to time travel for kids. We could go places and see things previously unimaginable. I still remember the opening of Disneyland. I watched it from the comfort of my living room in Detroit. Like many kids my age, my first love was Annette Funicello of The Mickey Mouse Club. But in that time period and at that age, nothing beat the horror and science fiction shows. I can’t begin to remember the number of times I had to cover my eyes with a pillow to escape the horrors inflicted by Boris Karloff or Lon Cheney as Shock Theater took us past midnight on Saturday nights.

Science fiction came in various colors. Shows like Rocky Jones – Space Ranger, Captain Video and The Adventures of Superman enthralled us as we sat mesmerized before the box that was ultimately to become the alter in nearly every American home.  As a seven year old boy, no show was more hypnotic than Flash Gordon. More than a half century has passed, but I still remember an episode where alien invaders would capture humans, clip out their brains and replace them with the precursor to our modern day microprocessor. The zombies would then wander the earth incapable of independent thought doing the bidding of their absentee owners. It was sort of like the missionaries that knock on my door from time-to-time. It usually took a superhuman effort on the part of Flash Gordon to save humanity from the evil missionaries. I wish I could get in touch with Flash Gordon now; I could have used him last week to get the boys off my porch.

By now, you may be wondering what all this has to do with Jon Kyle’s brain. Well, so much of the science fiction we watched as small children in the 50s was just that – fiction. But so much of it has come true. Microprocessors, men on the moon, handheld cell phones, all things that were pipe dreams then, but are realities today. When I listen to Senator Kyle speak on the subject of health care and insurance reform, I fear another bit of 50s vintage science fiction has become reality. The man has clearly had his cerebellum clipped and replaced with a microprocessor. The perpetrators of the heist obviously demagnetized the needle of his moral compass too.

I’ve met Jon Kyle. I’ve talked with Jon Kyle. Jon Kyle is an intelligent man or at least he was before the dark surgery took place. But when John Kyle talks about health care reform, it’s as if his mind is blank and he’s reciting the mantra implanted by some diabolical control committee of the Republican Party. Where has his mind gone?

With the health care system in America the way it is, we are outclassed by dozens of countries around the world who have better, cheaper and more effective systems in place. Every day, people in this country die because they lack health care.  Every day, people in this country go bankrupt because they lack healthcare. It is a moral travesty. Yet Jon Kyle marches on in lock-step with his cronies singing their insurance industry scripted refrain. He says it would be unfair for the insurance industry to have to compete with the government, but people are dying. He wants to protect the insurance industry, a group of Republican Party contributors that have proven to be ruthless, mercenary, dishonest and conniving who obviously don’t give a tinker’s damn about millions of Americans destroyed by the system they control. Who has stolen Kyle’s brain and disabled his moral compass.

The stock script he and his cohorts are programmed to recite ad nauseam says government involvement is bad. The government, i.e., his group, can’t do it. It’s socialism. It’s evil. Meanwhile, people are dying, people are losing their homes through medical bankruptcy and our life expectancies are in line with some countries trying to crawl out of the third world.

If he is sincere in what he says, he will be launching a vigorous attack on the biggest experiment in government control and socialism facing us today. It’s as big as the health care bureaucracy he fears. It’s far more socialistic than any of the health care plans under consideration. It doesn’t result in the deaths or financial destruction of even a small fraction of those demolished by our health care system, but it’s monstrous and it must be destroyed. I’m sure that if Kyle is honest in what he’s constantly saying about health care reform, he will be an equally voracious opponent of public education. Kill education and save America. Run, Jon, run. See Jon run. Destroy public education as the socialistic parasite it is. With even less education than we have now, the ranks of the Kyle Republican Party will swell and his dreams of power will be one step closer to fruition.

Maybe my view is over the line and darker than is justified. Maybe the truth is that the Republicans and Kyle aren’t owned and operated by the health insurance industry after all. Maybe, given the chance, they would care about the people suffering and dying in American thanks to our current system.  Conceivably, they would know some things do need to be paid for regardless of the costs, things like education, health care, highways, defense and government.  And maybe some Republicans would break ranks and take the moral road even if it is more challenging.  But then they can’t do that if someone has stolen Jon Kyle’s brain.

Where oh where is Flash Gordon when we need him?


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