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Free at Last – Free at Last

Judge Roger Vinson apparently has an insatiable need to be well known, not an unusual need for a Federal Judge. It’s been my experience that most Judges, especially those in the Federal Courts, have far more ego than common sense. By that standard, Judge Vinson fits the stereotype.

Vinson is the guy that pandered to the Tea Party by declaring the health care act unconstitutional. Like other simple minded myopes, e.g., Arizona buffoon in chief, Jan Brewer, Vinson says the Constitution somehow prevents the government from forcing people to buy health insurance. He justified his logic by announcing in his written decision, “It is difficult to imagine that a country which began, at least in part, as the result of opposition to a British mandate giving the East India Company a monopoly and imposing a nominal tax on all tea sold in American would have set out to create a government with the power to force people to buy tea in the first place.”

What the hell is this guy talking about? He’s a judge; surely he understands the concept of non-sequitor. As the Tea Party’s chief intellectual, Sarah Palin, calls them, this was clearly a WTF moment.

Vinson didn’t stop there; he went from tea to broccoli when he said, “Congress could require that people buy and consume broccoli at regular intervals, not only because the required purchases will positively impact interstate commerce, but also because people who eat healthier tend to be healthier, and are thus more productive and put less of a strain on the health care system.”

He wasn’t finished there. He drifted over to asparagus before he was done. Do you somehow get the impression this guy’s not eating right? Maybe if he had better health care he could have the condition treated. Based upon his culinary metaphors, I suspected Vinson may be a feeble old-fart drooling on himself as he nods in and out of consciousness while sitting on the bench. It turns out he was appointed to the bench by Ronald Reagan nearly thirty years ago, but he’s only seventy years old. Apparently a lack of broccoli serves to accelerate the aging process. The fact that he’s in Florida may provide an additional clue. It was in Florida that I last saw drinking fountains labeled “Whites Only” and “Coloreds”. Florida hasn’t always been a bastion of intellectual activity. Clearly, not enough broccoli.

Fortunately, Vinson’s ruling has further consequences. If, as he says, the government doesn’t have the right to force us to buy anything, we no longer need auto insurance. States surely can’t make us buy it. Homes no longer have to have smoke detectors or for that matter, even plumbing. Never mind the adverse impact of raw sewage running from your neighbor’s house, government doesn’t have the right to force you to buy plumbing. Government forced me to get a blood test to get married. Now that I think about it, how dare they force me to buy a license plate for my car! I’m just like the Tea Baggers – I’m fed up with the fed forcing me to fund their follies.

By extension, the government is forcing me to buy a military (via my taxes), pay the old people through social security (via my taxes), buy roads (via my taxes) and for that matter, it’s forcing me to buy a bunch of bureaucrats (via my taxes) and idiot judges (via my taxes). To hell with it, time to stop paying taxes. After all, that’s not in the Constitution either.

How dare those liberal bastards try and get us to buy health insurance just because it will reduce overall health care costs, reduce the federal deficit, bring us closer to the level of care afforded citizens of the world’s civilized countries and demonstrate we not only have intelligence, but a moral compass. We’re free, free to be ignorant, backward, under-educated and suicidal. There’s nothing in the Constitution that says we have to use common sense even though Thomas Payne thought it was a good idea when the Constitution was written. After all, Payne was one of those socialist Brits trying to tax our tea bags.

You tell’em Judge Vinson. Get up on that grandstand and blow kisses to the Tea Party. We need more demagogues. Maybe they’ll put your face on a postage stamp. But then what good will that do? The government can’t force us to use stamps to mail letters. Now that I’ve vented a bit, I’ll shut up and eat my broccoli.

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