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Making Amerika Great One Swastika at a Time

aunt-beulahBy Aunt Beulah

Aunt Beulah is a former comatose pseudonym who woke from her slumber when the country lobbed a grenade through her nursing home window.

Is it not refreshing to see America and its citizens finally paving The Path to the Moral High Ground? It’s about time we jumped on High Horse and galloped over the Constitution of the United States of America. Just between you and me, I feel the US Constitution and Bill of Rights, not to mention the Declaration of Independence, are pretty lame. After all, the Founding Fathers of this country couldn’t even be bothered to establish a State religion or mention Christianity at all in any of these documents. I’m almost positive that was an oversight, although I can’t be sure as I wasn’t there and there was no Twitter. Perhaps they were sidetracked while separating church from state and couldn’t find their way back to the pew to ask for guidance. Damn Deists. Horrifying Humanists. Sensible Secularists.  What were they thinking by leaving the construal of those documents to the commoners?!

I, for one, think we owe white nationalist groups, evangelicals and self-abused women a debt of gratitude for electing someone as our president with the fortitude to bypass the governing documents of this country so he can make America great again. Someone like Donald Trump. Or Donald Trump. His thin skin, tiny tweeting fingers, and keen grasp on reality was instrumental in illuminating the malignant tumor of hate festering under our noses in the dank swamp of America’s fringe. Putrefying long before political correctness drove it underground, that oozing tumor popped to the surface like a pus pocket, spraying the country with a sickly yellow infection that turned half of this country into a cesspool of hate-filled cholera. What a relief that the tumor is free at last. Now we can get on with bleaching the country.

Did I mention that a Big Thanks also goes out to those who “voted their conscience”? Not sure what lurks in the gray matter above those brain stems but their moral compasses tossed them Through the Looking Glass into the clutches of the charlatan Red King. At least they can bury the Bill of Rights with their scruples intact so all is right in their world. Without actually checking the Trump box on the ballot, they guaranteed their conservative values would remain mired in the medieval bogs of millennials past but can say without blinking, “Don’t look at me! I didn’t vote for him!”

Lastly, kudos to those who sat out the election in their living rooms watching The Price is Right or Let’s Make a Deal or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, because they didn’t like either candidate, or any candidate for that matter. They all had at least one dog in the fight but won’t realize it until the canine crawls bleeding onto the porch and dies at their feet. Guess what, you lost your right to lament the state of the country from this point forward so don’t even go there. Stick your head in the cat box and think about what you’ve done.

On a particularly low note, with the KKK on the loose again we should give serious consideration to repealing every civil rights act back to1866 beginning with 1964 and the Fair Housing Act of 1968. The Republican power is there. Hell, we chose the right man for the job – Donald Trump has a 43-year head start in that arena (forgive my language, ladies. I don’t mean to make you swoon. You’ve probably run out of smelling salts by now what with the ribald, raucous rallies that swirled around The Elected One. But you shall overcome. Or be overcome by grabbing, trolling, vicious, self-entitled narcissists.)

I wonder… did we choose to erase fifty years of progress due to food additives? Or mind-numbing drugs? Perhaps we are simply waxing nostalgic and long for the Sundays when we packed our picnic baskets anticipating a bit of entertainment after church.  Still dressed in our Sunday best, we strolled to the town square to watch the torture and lynching of blacks while we ate lunch under the trees. The number of sub-humans and inferiors to choose from has grown exponentially to include all people of color and religious affiliations so there will be years of fun to be had after Sunday worship.

On Liberty Island stands a statue. Perhaps you know of it or have actually visited the site. Written on a bronze plaque attached to the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty is a sonnet by Emma Lazarus titled, “The New Colossus”. A section of the sonnet reads:

                      Give me your tired, your poor,

                        Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

                        The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

                        Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:

                        I lift my lamp beside the golden door. 

 

With the current climate of this country being what it is we should add a caveat: As long as “these” are white Christians and speak English, preferably without an accent (forgive me First Lady Elect). On a side note, Emma Lazarus was a New York City-born Jew, and a woman, from an immigrant family with roots in America that predate the American Revolution.

 

All of that being said, I congratulate us all for putting our best foot forward as the country aspiring to lead the free world with what we like to label as our Christian ideals. Way to trip and fall off the Plane of Values. This country, America, land of the free and home of the brave, was once a shining beacon to the world with a “lamp beside the golden door”. Wait, what do you mean no one can see the beacon through the fog of hate? Is the light on? Oh, Martin Luther King-on-a-tree-branch. Who forgot the match?

 

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I am Property, Let Me Be

If I lived in Iowa, I would be mad as hell and I would not take it anymore. The nerve of the Iowa Supreme Court to rule in favor of Gay Marriage. Have they no values? In the April 3 ruling the court wrote, “We are firmly convinced the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important governmental objective,” and that Iowa’s lawmakers had “excluded a historically disfavored class of persons from a supremely important civil institution without a constitutionally sufficient justification.” In other words, the Justices feel that excluding a class of people from marrying serves no purpose and that equal protection under the law as provided for in Iowa’s Constitution, even in civil marriage, trumps a parochial “tradition” of marriage as between one man and one woman and to exclude . . .

According to the Court, the plaintiffs in the case conveyed “the disadvantages and fears they face each day due to the inability to obtain a civil marriage in Iowa.” For example, “the legal inability to make many life and death decisions affecting their partner, including decisions related to health care . . . the inability to share in their partners’ state-provided health insurance, public employee pension benefits, and many private-employer-provided benefits and protections,” and the denial of “several tax benefits.”

“Yet, perhaps the ultimate disadvantage expressed in the testimony of the plaintiffs, is the inability to obtain for themselves and for their children the personal and public affirmation that accompanies marriage.” Without the legal right to marry, there is no way to legally, socially, and morally establish a family, an important social unit in our global communities. Marriage establishes kinship. Kinship establishes a family. Continue reading

Brainwashed

I am a student of pop (some say pulp) culture and women’s issues. Not to the point that I want to look like a celebrity, risk arrest for stalking, or burn my bra, mind you. Although, burning my bra at my age could save some money if I were inclined to visit Cher’s plastic surgeon. Gravity would send my breasts plummeting to my knees but in so doing, the weight of their descent would pull the wrinkles and sagging skin from my neck and face. It’s a win-win situation for everyone but the medical profession.

But I digress. As a feminine cultural scholar a fair amount of my time involves mindless activities such as watching television and perusing magazines and the internet for ads, trends and miracle wrinkle removal creams. The sheer volume of products available to lift, exfoliate, radiate, rejuvenate, bleach, regenerate, illuminate, reinvent, beautify, hydrate, cleanse, renew, and reduce pore size, wrinkles, and blemishes, not to mention getting a suntan without venturing out into the sun (a vampire’s dream), is absolutely staggering . Staggering and expensive. What a country!

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