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Making Amerika Great One Swastika at a Time

aunt-beulahBy Aunt Beulah

Aunt Beulah is a former comatose pseudonym who woke from her slumber when the country lobbed a grenade through her nursing home window.

Is it not refreshing to see America and its citizens finally paving The Path to the Moral High Ground? It’s about time we jumped on High Horse and galloped over the Constitution of the United States of America. Just between you and me, I feel the US Constitution and Bill of Rights, not to mention the Declaration of Independence, are pretty lame. After all, the Founding Fathers of this country couldn’t even be bothered to establish a State religion or mention Christianity at all in any of these documents. I’m almost positive that was an oversight, although I can’t be sure as I wasn’t there and there was no Twitter. Perhaps they were sidetracked while separating church from state and couldn’t find their way back to the pew to ask for guidance. Damn Deists. Horrifying Humanists. Sensible Secularists.  What were they thinking by leaving the construal of those documents to the commoners?!

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But It’s a Dry Heat

Dry as it might be, the sometimes scorching Arizona heat seems to take its toll on the sanity of some of the State’s residents. Arizona has a long history of putting nut-cases in positions of leadership. It is the land of Ev Mecham, a former Arizona governor and loose cannon who represented only “the good people” and looked down his nose at others he referred to in derogatory terms like “pickaninnies”. The shortest path to the governor’s office in Arizona seems to be to run for Secretary of State where you can lie in wait for the impeachment of the elected governor.

Arizona has a well documented history of filling the State legislature with bigots and imbeciles that make observers from the civilized world conclude the heat may be dry, but insidiously destructive to brain cells. Russell Pearce and Sheriff Joe Arpaio are two of the State’s reining bigots making national news on a regular basis. J.D. Hayworth, a crazed hate peddler is currently running against John McCain and has driven McCain babbling incoherently off the cliff into a world of senile delusion.

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Is God Saving American Culture from those Mexicans?

Were it not for the destructive nature of hate-speak, I would find the militant anti-immigrant crowd a constant source of humor and entertainment.  The folly of their ways is often more than laughable.  Frankly, it doesn’t bother me to press “1” for English or for that matter “2” for español.  Where I live, they were speaking Spanish a long time before English showed up in search of gold.

I’m fortunate to speak a number of languages one of which is Spanish.  I have a friend that is so paranoid, so uncomfortable when she’s in the presence of Mexicans speaking Spanish that I have all I can do to keep from breaking up with laughter.  In fact, as I’m endowed with a rather perverse sense of humor, I sometimes can’t resist engaging the Mexicans in conversation.  I might be talking to them about the weather or the latest sports events, but about every third sentence or so I’ll randomly insert my friend’s name to make her think the entire conversation is about her.  It just infuriates her.  It’s so much fun.

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