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The Migratory Habits of the Tufted Southwester Tea Bagger

Some days are just meant for bitching. Don’t lie to yourself; you’ve had’em. You wake up on the wrong side of the bed and someone’s going to have a worse day than you. It doesn’t have to make sense. It doesn’t have to be fair. The first person who falls into your sights is toast. If my wife (who is as close to uniformly charming as anyone walking) gets out of bed and does a crab-walk to the bathroom first thing in the morning, I’m outta there. Sometimes I might have to throw her a piece of raw meat to distract her while I sneak out the door, but whatever it takes to find a cave in which to hide is what I’m going to do. No one’s immune from the wishfully rare, but all too common human ailment.

A small percentage of people seem to have been born to bitch. It’s not a once in a blue moon thing. They get out of bed every day intent on making everyone who crosses their path into road kill. They’re constantly negative. They delight to bringing people down. It’s as if they find it easier to elevate their own mood by making everyone else’s lower than their own. We all know a few of them and if possible, we avoid them like the social boils they are. Their complaints don’t have to make sense. They don’t have to think things through. They can’t seem to take responsibility for their own actions. They live as perpetual consequences. They are victims. Everything that happens to them is beyond their own control and everything that happens is bad.

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Babs’ Quote of the Day – 2010.2.9

The entire country appears to be hiccupping uncontrollably, caught in a vortex of mass hysteria, jumping up and down like Rumpelstilskin while yelling, “The tea leaves have told you that! The tea leaves have told you that!” Slap a paper bag over your head and suck it up people! Stop hyperventilating with a bunch of fear-mongering Nashville-bound Libertarians and Conservatives who worship at the altar of Sarah Palin. You’d think she had the answers to world peace and fiscal responsibility when her claim to fame is shopping at Neiman and Saks and that evolution is blasphemy.

The hazards of debt, death panels, out-of-control government spending, pulling the Medicare rug out from under senior citizens, voting irregularities – there’s more political tripe floating around in the news, in Nashville and on the internet than what you’d find in Menudo on New Year’s Day.

Babs’ Quote of the Day – 2010.1.22

Congratulations, Fox News! In what can only be described as a Major Coup one of the most unbiased and influential news organizations in the Bible Belt has landed a real gem in Sarah Palin as a contributor to their news team. Her written release concerning this new development summed it up nicely, “I am thrilled to be joining the great talent and management team at Fox News. It’s wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news.”  Pat yourself on the back, Fox.  My incredulity at this brilliant move has altered my perception of your news reporting tenfold. Fox is truly a news icon, oozing integrity at every turn while cementing their credibility and enhancing their standing among their viewers if not their peers. ITAR-TASS salutes you.

Palin Comparison

Let me eliminate the guesswork right at the outset. I was not a big fan of Sarah Palin in the 2008 election. John McCain lost the election the day he picked her as his running mate. I thought George the Younger was deductively challenged, but I thought he was a fourth order differential equation compared to Sarah. I was convinced that when Sarah accepted the challenge of pondering life’s great questions, she contemplated things like “How do you get a feather off of a finger coated with honey?” I figured you could keep her busy for hours with a three piece jigsaw puzzle. She was a cutie indeed, but her mental plumbing was never designed to handle the big flush.

Now, I’ve turned my back on Sarah’s past foibles much like the American electorate did in 2008. But if I’m to remain true to my own principles of “fair and balanced” views (apologies to Fox for using its expression, but as long as they weren’t using it, I thought I could borrow it for this column), I need to objectively consider the other side. And who better to get the other side from than Sarah herself? Alright, I’ll stop beating around the bush and get to the embarrassing truth. I bought her book, Going Rogue by Sarah Palin or should I say by Lynn Vincent, Sarah’s ghost writer. I actually paid money for it. I have directly contributed to her mental and moral delinquency by paying for the damn book. I’m hanging my head. I have removed the cover jacket for fear someone will see me reading it and assume I’m in the same intellectual camp

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An Opinion to Annoy Everyone

President Obama said a Cambridge police officer acted “stupidly” when arresting Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates. The media has begun its feeding frenzy on the President’s remark. The President has admitted he could have “calculated those words differently.”

Sherpion: Get over it. The President did not say anyone was stupid. He said someone acted stupidly, a totally different thing. Who among us has not acted stupidly from time to time? It’s part of what makes us human. As far as Professor Gates conducting himself with a bit less decorum than expected by arresting officer James Crowley, everyone including Crowley, should get over that as well. Gates had proven to the police that he was in his own home. The matter should have ended once he had done so. I can assure you that if someone, police or otherwise, comes into my private home and challenges my dominion of my own private residence, Gates’ behavior will seem mild and subdued in comparison to mine. When the sanctity of your sole worldly refuge is invaded, you have the right, if not the obligation, to get damned pissed off.

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Finally, Palin Gets It Right

Sarah Palin, the comic figurehead of the failed Presidential campaign of John McCain, has resigned as Governor of Alaska.  Figurehead may not be the best choice of words.  A “figurehead” is that carved wooden woman that graced the bows of the old sailing ships.  If we’re to stick with the sailing metaphor, she should probably be described as McCain’s anchor.

Nonetheless, I listened as Sarah made her announcement Friday.  She said she wasn’t a quitter.  Who, but Sarah Palin could make such a statement to kick off a speech in which she was announcing she was quitting.  If you voted for McCain/Palin, if you even considered casting your vote for McCain/Palin and you understand that she could have been one missed heartbeat away from the Oval Office and this doesn’t scare the holy hell out of you, you’re anchor is dragging.

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The Reasons McCain Lost – Reason #3 – The Smut

You can’t expect the race for one of the most powerful positions in the nation to be taken lightly. The stakes are higher than most of us can begin to imagine. When a pair of candidates square off with the power hundreds of millions of dollars command, rest assured you’re in for Herculean efforts from both sides.

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