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Taxes, Texans and Tea

Conservatives from shore to shore rail against the evils of taxation. Tea baggers stand on street corners hoisting their signs skyward bemoaning the taxes they view as unnecessary to pay for the programs that will ultimately care for them such as social security and medicare. “We’re mortgaging our children’s future,” they shout.

For the most part, their time would be better spent singing the lyrics of the scarecrow’s song from the Wizard of Oz.

Oh, I could tell you why the ocean’s near the shore.

I could think of things I never thunk before.

And then I’d sit, and think some more.

I would not be just a nothin’ my head all full of stuffin’

My heart all full of pain.

I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry,

If I only had a brain.

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The Migratory Habits of the Tufted Southwester Tea Bagger

Some days are just meant for bitching. Don’t lie to yourself; you’ve had’em. You wake up on the wrong side of the bed and someone’s going to have a worse day than you. It doesn’t have to make sense. It doesn’t have to be fair. The first person who falls into your sights is toast. If my wife (who is as close to uniformly charming as anyone walking) gets out of bed and does a crab-walk to the bathroom first thing in the morning, I’m outta there. Sometimes I might have to throw her a piece of raw meat to distract her while I sneak out the door, but whatever it takes to find a cave in which to hide is what I’m going to do. No one’s immune from the wishfully rare, but all too common human ailment.

A small percentage of people seem to have been born to bitch. It’s not a once in a blue moon thing. They get out of bed every day intent on making everyone who crosses their path into road kill. They’re constantly negative. They delight to bringing people down. It’s as if they find it easier to elevate their own mood by making everyone else’s lower than their own. We all know a few of them and if possible, we avoid them like the social boils they are. Their complaints don’t have to make sense. They don’t have to think things through. They can’t seem to take responsibility for their own actions. They live as perpetual consequences. They are victims. Everything that happens to them is beyond their own control and everything that happens is bad.

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