How to Cure Anything

There probably aren’t a lot of us left that remember the old childhood remedies. When we took a nasty spill and scuffed up the elbows or cut a finger, it was time for a painful, stinging and staining application of iodine. It hurt. Sometimes it was worse than the wound itself. Until the stain wore off the skin, it was a badge of honor to a young boy. It showed he was tough enough to survive not only the wound, but the treatment.

For every ailment iodine didn’t cure, there was Castor Oil. According to Wikipedia, Castor Oil was used for skin problems, burns, sunburns, skin disorders, cuts, abrasions, styes in the eye, stomach aches, cramps, muscle pains, skin eruptions, inflammatory conditions, lesions and more. It was even used to induce childbirth, an effect that fortunately never worked on me. This is just the short list. My grandmother could have added five more pages to the litany.

Wikipedia also says cold pressed Castor Oil is odorless and tasteless when pure. This tells me either my grandmother didn’t buy the pure stuff or the oil just looked and felt so damn bad, it tasted horrible to the mind. I’ve never known anyone that looked forward to a spoon full of Castor Oil. It had to be the origin of the word “yucky”.

Before the advent of painless wound treatments and scrumptious medicines, iodine and Castor Oil cured everything. It also taught us to think twice before complaining about any ailments or minor pains. Sometimes suffering was far better than taking the remedy.

But the truth was and remains that when the ailment became serious enough, there was no alternative. We had to take the medicine.

So why is it today that when we’re seriously ill, we can delude ourselves into believing we can avoid the elixir? What’s even more delusional is we believe the ailment will go away on its own. We’re like little children screaming and crying at the threat of iodine. It just makes the ultimate treatment that much worse.

Such is the case with global climate change. We’re to a point where the overwhelming majority of educated Americans recognize that it is real, yet not nearly as many are willing to take the medicine because it’s going to hurt.

The battle over health care has been joined. The treatment will involve some pain and discomfort so some Americans are beginning to pucker up and shake their heads from side to side. They don’t want to take the medicine. A huge issue now is the question of taxing employer provided health benefits, something that is long overdue. Why should someone working for Microsoft get tax free healthcare benefits while someone working at Wal-Mart gets no healthcare benefits and has to buy them out of the paltry money earned working the night shift stocking shelves and on which she had to pay taxes on in the first place? The system’s broken and the medicine isn’t going to taste good.

Our financial ailments are not going to get better unless we take a few spoonfuls of the medicine. Our energy crisis will only worsen unless we swallow the pill. Our infrastructure will continue to disintegrate until we put the stinging tincture on the systemic wounds. It’s going to sting more than a little bit. But we’ve got to stop pretending we can live high on the hog without some discomfort.

Some people with that look of a glazed over FOX trance are now pointing to the Obama administration and blubbering over how the President’s actions are beginning to hurt and sting. If they’d take a step back and get their tantrums under control, they’d recall he said we had some major problems that had to be addressed on his watch. He told us it would hurt. He said the medicine would sting and burn for a while. In fact, we elected him because he had the strength and wisdom to give us what we needed.

Now sit down, shut up, and stop your blubbering. On the count of three, open your mouth and take the medicine. Ready? One-two-three, swallow. There, that wasn’t so bad was it? Go have a bowl of chicken soup; it’ll make you feel better.